Woman refuses to accept fiancé's deceased wife's engagement ring

Aug 23, 2023

A woman claims she and her fiancé are now at odds after he offered her the engagement ring he'd once given his dead wife, claiming her spirit told him she "was sent to him by her"

A bride-to-be says she's been left feeling uncomfortable after her widowed fiancé offered her the engagement ring his late wife had once worn and felt she had no choice but to decline. According to this 29-year-old woman, who is set to tie the knot in two weeks' time, she and her fiancé have known each other since they were very young and had previously dated on and off.

They reconnected after his wife's death and have now been in a serious relationship for two years. Although she loves him dearly, there are "awkward" aspects to their relationship, and she has previously felt he wanted her to be more like his deceased wife. For example, he has previously referred to her by his wife's name. He also becomes unhappy when, in his eyes, she falls short of the dead woman's skills in cooking, childcare, and cleaning.

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Taking to Reddit, where she goes by the username u/Welp_shit02, the conflicted bride wrote: "I just thought he needed more time to heal and get over it.

"When she died he kept her engagement ring, I didn’t think anything of it and just thought it was something to keep in her memory, well last week he offered the ring to me, he said he wanted to give me the ring cause his wife’s spirit told him 'I was sent to him by her'. I declined and told him it made me uncomfortable, this ended up breaking out into a week-long fight."

She continued: "He now thinks I’m an a****** that doesn’t care for his feelings or the memory of his wife, I ended up bursting out telling him that he needs to move on with our life and not be so caught up in the past and trying to compare me to his dead wife."

Her future husband ended up leaving after this outburst, and she'd yet to hear from him. Now worried he'll call off the wedding altogether, she's wondering whether she was in the wrong, and has reached out to fellow Reddit users for advice.

One person sympathised: "Oh honey you are not his rebound and he’s mistaken to condition you as his late wife. Please do not proceed with the marriage because he’s obviously not over her."

Another advised: "God bless the broken road and all that but I don’t think he’s moved on quite enough yet. Yes, he lost her and that doesn’t mean love disappears but this is more than living with a ghost, you’re living as a replacement. You deserve more than that.

"He could use some grief counseling. You can’t be her, and that’s okay, you can be you. He needs to be okay with that before you get married."

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